The Best Way To Deal With A Breakup

I believe in love. I’m referencing unconditional love, not the kind that fades with the passing of years or weathers as life meanders. I believe in it because I have felt such love throughout my entire life. Albeit my life is a mere 25 years, still, I’ve been blessed with love. Romantic love, familial love, and friendly love alike have been abundant in my past and present. I’ve had to fight for some of it just like everyone else. I’ve had to let go of a lot of it just as you, dear reader, have let go of love. I have had many of the expected ups and downs and yet after having all these shared human experiences I still disagree with most when it comes to the subject of breakups. 

Sure everyone has his or her way of getting over someone after a breakup. Some people work on their bodies, some dive into a new hobby, some hide in the dark until they feel strong enough to move forward with their lives. This is usually a slow and arduous process, but no matter what, you have to get over your love right? It is my belief that if you love someone unconditionally, this is an impossible feat. I lose most people here, so let me pose this question: Would you expect a person to stop loving someone after they die? We’re never told to get over our lover or our mother dying, so why are we expected to stop loving someone after a breakup? There’s a reason it feels as if someone has died half the time!

Love transforms from one form to another. After you breakup with someone the goal shouldn’t be to get over or forget him or her, it should be to understand the new type of love you have for that person. Maybe you were hurt, betrayed, or even forsaken, but there is still the undeniable power of love connecting both of you. Forget your anger and resentment because it isn’t serving you, love and forgiveness walk hand in hand.

Is embracing love the easiest way to survive a breakup? I like to think so. We need to get over the notion of forgetting about someone entirely. It makes no sense! Instead, it’s important we recognize love for what it truly is and move forward with our lives, carrying that love some place in your heart forever because it makes you a better person. It won’t hold you back; only the ego will do that. If you find you can’t get on with your life, chances are it’s your ego or insecurities being inflamed by perceived failures and rejection: both inevitable parts of life. There is no weakness in having love for someone after years have passed; it shows great strength and capacity. So, the next time you find yourself nursing a broken heart, your own or a friend’s, consider that the soul is love. The soul is eternal, love is eternal, energy cannot be destroyed; only transformed—why try and go against your own nature? Treasure love and its pain, don’t ever try to forget it.